Now, there was a purpose for me in this intrepid search. Rollie Pemberton also goes by the name of Cadence Weapon. Earlier this year, the 20 year-old put out Breaking Kayfabe, a record that single-handedly threw the Canadian hip hop establishment into a frenzy with its self-produced, electro monster-beats and precocious wordsmithing. Whether waxing on the local Edmonton strip mall or namechecking Gavrilo, the songs showed a love and strong command of the written word. All the while, Pemberton never comes off as being pretentious in the slightest.

Pemberton's command of the written word does not apply only to music. He started writing for indie music gospel Pitchfork Media at the age of 18, penning hip hop reviews, as well as writing his own popular music blog, Razorblade Runner. Pemberton honed his musical chops and learned the ins and outs of the music media, making him a one man production and promotion machine.

Pemberton also has an uncanny ability to put the most cynical of audiences under his spell. With his trademark look - chin up, eyes narrowed, ready to attack - the man shows no hesitation on stage. Strangely enough, cynical audiences may have become the norm for Pemberton. Many of the tours he has gone on over the past couple of months have been of the indie rock variety, containing audiences who may not understand his music. However, watching him in action, even the most skeptical indie rock kids can be seen pumping their fists, nodding their heads, and even thrashing about. At the two shows I attended, I even saw audience members voluntarily giving him high-fives.

Pemberton's lyrics, music and interviews read like an open book, as articulate as he is. But is there something we don't know about him? There was only one way to find out. I subjected him to ten, highly irrelevant Barbara Walters style questions about secrets.

Secret #1 - The secret to having street cred.
Oversized baseball caps.

Secret #2 - The secret to a killer show.
Engaging the crowd, being comfortable with your material and enjoying the music you've made.

How did you get to be so comfortable on stage? Like did you ever do acting or anything as a kid?
I was a bit of a drama kid in high school, yeah. I was one of the acting hot shots at St. Francis Xavier.

Secret #3 - Rollie Pemberton's secret tour rituals.
I take a shit before every show.

I heard from a friend of mine that it is pretty hard to keep it regular on tour - she brings a bag of brown rice with her and cooks up a batch every evening.
That's true, but you have to create one or you'll go crazy. Like once you get things looping, things go by really fast. Especially if you sleep 18 hours a day.

Secret #4 - The secret to having a popular blog.
Befriending other popular bloggers, thus joining the blogger fraternity. Also, having exclusive material.

There is quite a brethren of bloggers out there - have you met any of the others in person?
Yeah, Matthew Perpetua from Fluxblog.org, Serg from beerandrap.com, Andrew Rose from Pop Montreal.

Was blogging how you got signed?
It is specifically how I got signed. I sent a song to Matthew because I didn't want to just post shit on my blog. He put it on, and his superior readership led me to remixes and my deal with Upper Class.

Secret #5 - The secret to getting the ladies.
Never be too nice, never be too much of an asshole and never get too drunk. Girls don't like people who are nice, but they also don't like people who are overtly assholes. Mostly, if you are an assertive person and you keep a good conversation, things should work out. Sometimes if you can read things well enough, just being incredibly forward works.

Secret #6 - The secret to getting around the ridiculously high drinking age in the US.
It is hard to deal with. People have different views on age in the States, the people I met at shows that were underage only in the States seemed and acted younger than I would. It was like not drinking from a young age has retained their innocence. But yeah, I'd basically just avoid the promoters until I'd get paid or I'd see if someone of age could just get me an extra wristband. If I got found out, I'd just drink in the bus or backstage only.

Secret #7 - The secret ingredient in any dinner.
Mrs. Dash.

Secret #8 - The secret to the success of the Edmonton Oilers.(Editor's note: when this question had been asked, the Hurricanes hadn't completely obliterated the Oilers. Sigh.)
To quote Ghostface Killah, "We want it so bad, we might cry!"

Congrats on the win. I saw the post-game footage from Edmonton and it looked nuts!
Edmonton got pretty wild, yes, that is true. People were burning phone booths, hanging from telephone wires, I feel like acting like assholes has cursed the team, because we're 0-2 and our goalie is broken. It's a nightmare.

Speaking of Ghostface, what was it like meeting him? You must've been pretty geeked out.
I spent the first 30 minutes just eating next to him and eventually I asked some half-hearted questions about his beats and stuff.

Secret #9 - The secret of the Rollie Pemberton handshake.
Usually, it's a complicated series of hand movements to get people comfortable enough to stop bullshitting you and start with the meeting process. It's all mental.

Secret #10 - Rollie Pemberton's secret guilty pleasures.
I love terrible food. Like donairs and stuff. I have an incredibly bad diet. Maybe this goes with my tour ritual. At least I don't smoke.

What exactly are donairs? It sounds kind of suave. Or maybe it just sounds a lot like "debonaire". Hmmm.
Donairs are a classless food. I don't know what kind of meat it is, I don't know why they are strategically placed next to bars but basically it's shaved meat in a pita with cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions and a weird mayo-ish sauce. You wouldn't eat one if you weren't drunk. When Mike Skinner says "Behind the counter they look nervous, but carry on cutting the finest cuts of chicken from the big spinning stick", he's talking about donairs. Some people call them 'gyros' as well. You can get chicken donairs too, but the typical kind is miscellaneous meat. I'm scared to look it up because ignorance is bliss.

There you have it, folks. Rollie Pemberton's disc, Breaking Kayfabe is out now on Upper Class Recordings. You can visit Cadence Weapon's website here and his blog here.