In grade 5 or 6, one of our units was on Japan, and of course, one of our assignments was to write haikus, poems with a 3 line,
5-7-5 syllable pattern with no rhyme scheme. Subject matter, we were told, was supposed to be
about nature. Pastoral. You know, rocks being shaped by the gentle trickling of the river,
the wind, setting suns, oceans, green hills, and the like. I would like to think the following are about nature of a different sort.
Special thanks to Dan Brauer and Teresa Winky Mak for the drawings.
Kisses on the cheek
Kiss one or two cheeks?
This is getting so awkward
Just make up your mind!
What are you doing?
You're up to THREE cheek kisses?
This is excessive!
In Montreal (and I guess anywhere French), if you are greeting someone it is customary to give them the double cheek kiss.
To my chagrin, when I went to England people only did a one cheek kiss,
so I was left hanging and looking like I was putting the moves on absolutely everyone.
Then, I heard that in some parts of the world they do three cheek kisses.
I say, to avoid confusion why don't we just come to an agreement that we just make out
with people when we see them?
Economics snooze
Supply/demand curve
I wish I'd paid attention
Elasticity?!
At work I had to revisit concepts in economics. Oh boy.
Your clothes are too tight
Shopping with girlfriends
A task so laborious
I agreed to go?
"You look great in that!"
You have a huge camel toe
Try size 8, not 2!
"That shirt suits you well!"
Your arms look like sausages
Large, not extra small!
My feet fucking hurt
I have a pounding headache
Get me out of here!
One friend I have loves shopping, and only tries on and buys clothes that are too tight for her. I don't have the heart to tell her
that no one looks like the person in the mirror sucking in their stomach and squinching their cheeks all the time. Un peu harsh, I know.
Metro confusion
Hey there good lookin'
Perfectly groomed hair, outfit......
You sure you're not gay?
Every woman's dilemma these days - is he, or isn't he gay? Sigh.
Welcome, visitor
Grey shirt, black pants, scowl
Why can't we all get along?
U.S. customs jerks!
Despite looking and being the least suspicious person to ever cross the American border, I still get harassed by the agents there.
I love the States.
Morning perk
No coffee for me
I eat chocolate instead
Caffeine fix, bitches!
I don't drink coffee in the mornings, but stay awake by eating chocolate caramels instead. My
teeth may be rotting away, but I'm staying awake and don't have brown teeth! Sweet! (literally)
