Being a Chinese person, I've had some pretty bad fried rice in my
lifetime. There's been the fried rice that you get at authentic Chinese
restaurants with so much MSG that you get an allergic reaction. Then
there's the bastardized Western versions that you get at those pseudo-Chinese
restaurants called "Wong Wing" (or some equally obtrusively named
restaurant) with signs written in a bamboo letter
font. Then there's other kinds that have been dripping with soy sauce or
with too much egg or with the addition of weird stuff like prosciutto.
(sorry mom)Enter Albert Tse. Albert is a straight A student and is the treasurer for the McGill Chinese Students'
Society. He is truly fobulous in all senses of the word. And he makes an ILL fried rice.
Quite honestly, this was
hands down the best fried rice I have ever had in my entire life. And
that's why I decided to feature the Tse family Ancient Chinese Secret of Fried
Rice in keetologue 002.
Albert invited me to his kitchen to peer over his shoulder as he was cooking
it:
you'll need:
half a cooking onion, chopped into little pieces
a couple sprigs of green onion, chopped into little pieces
cooked shrimp, marinated with sesame oil, soy sauce, sugar, salt, garlic powder, and
other assorted spices of your choice.
2 cups long grain jasmine (ox head) or short grain rice (kohuho rose), cooked with a rice cooker.
Albert prefers the short grain.
1 tbsp of oil
2 eggs, beaten with some white pepper and salt
Utensils:
a rice cooker (no rice cooker?? get one. don't even TRY using
uncle ben's or parboiled, or any of that instant 5 minute stuff. you're
only kidding yourself)
a non-stick pan or a wok
DIRECTIONS:
1. Cook rice in rice cooker as per usual. For 2 cups of rice,
wash and rinse it, put it into the rice cooker, and fill water up to
"2" mark. press so it says "rice cooking" or
equivalent phrase. Just make sure it's cooking. Chop up all your
ingredients while you're waiting.
2. After your rice is almost done, heat up the oil in your wok/non-stick pan
- put your stove on the highest heat possible. When it gets pretty hot, throw in your chopped cooking
onion, which should be sizzling. Stir around with a spatula until
your onions look cooked.
3. Throw in your shrimp, that you have marinated for a couple
minutes. Stir around for about 45 seconds.
4. Your rice should be done right about now. throw your rice into
the pan, and stir that concoction around so there's an even distribution of
shrimp and onion.
5. Crack in your eggs, and stir like crazy. The goal is to not
have any egg chunks.
6. Put in a tiny pinch of salt and sugar.
7. Pour in some soy sauce, just enough so the rice is sort of a golden
brown colour. If it's dark brown, you've put in too much. Stir so
that rice is an even colour throughout.
8. Throw in green onions, toss around so green onion is no longer
raw. Serve immediately. If you're feeling exceedingly experimental, you might want
to try throwing in some Thai basil, or dill. But that's just me deviating
from the Tse Family Ancient Chinese Secret Fried Rice recipe.
9. Bon Appetit!
P.S. The phrase, "Ancient Chinese
Secret" came from a Calgon soap commercial. Those bastards and their
un-PC advertising.
